Bitchin’ Sauce: The Best Darn Thing Ever

The PLM Report Card: Bitchin’ Sauce 

Pretty: A+ (makes it easier to eat your veggies!)

Low Maintenance: A- (easy to make, keeps forever, but requires some special ingredients you might not have. Worth it.)

I have been a real B-I over the last couple of days. Ever have those times where you feel like there’s just straight vitriol running through your veins, and nothing you say is going to come out nice? That’s meeeee!

I’ve just been feeling out of sync with myself lately. It’s not a good feeling. It could be the weather changing to fall, which always makes me feel a bit thrown off. It’s like all of that warm humidity was just yanked off of me like a blanket in the middle of the night.  It also could be because it feels like Doomsday is having a dress rehearsal with the hurricanes, earthquakes, and nukes.  It could just be normal, existential gloominess.  It’s definitely not Mercury being in retrograde– that was the first thing I checked.

(Aren’t you happy you landed on this page today? What a real pick-me-up!)

Speaking of being a bitch– isn’t it interesting that being a bitch is a bad thing, but if someone describes something as “bitchin'” that means it’s great? If you say someone was “bitching at you,” though, that doesn’t mean they were displaying excellence in your direction. Bitch is a very fickle word.

My sister, an amazing cook as you already know, made us the best dinners when we were on vacation. (Did you want to see my vacation pictures?!) I felt like I was at the Canyon Ranch Spa. She made this one dinner that was unbelievable. It was basically all of these fruits veggies, and quinoa covered in this thing called Bitchin’ Sauce.

Have you heard of it? It’s apparently a big thing in California, and now it’s also a big thing in my tiny NYC kitchen because I cannot. stop. eating. this. stuff. It’s spicy, it’s savory, it’s nutty, it’s a little cheesy… it’s the godfather (er..godmother)  of all sauces. If you don’t know what to make for dinner, just roast some veggies, throw them all together, and put a little of this sauce on top. It’s literally the easiest thing ever, and it makes eating your vegetables all the better, too. Also, it’s vegan. It really is bitchin’!

I adapted this recipe from The Faux Martha, who is a culinary genius for figuring this out.

Enjoy. I think you’ll find this truly bitchin’. And as a true bitch myself (at least this week!),  I think I would know.

Ingredients: 

3/4 c. water

1/2 c. grapeseed oil

1/2 c. almond butter

1-2 whole lemon’s worth of juice

3 tbsp. nutritional yeast

2 cloves garlic

2 tsp. Bragg liquid aminos (or soy sauce)

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. cumin

1/2 tsp. chili powder

1/4 tsp. coriander

1/4 tsp. smoked paprika

Instructions: 

Put this all into the food processor and mix. You can also use a blender, but I can’t vouch for that because I don’t have one… cupboard space is at a premium for me!

Store it in the refrigerator. I put mine in an old tomato sauce jar. If it separates, just shake it up again.

Use it as a dip, pour it over roasted veggies, eat it with a spoon. Enjoy!

Ingredient Panic: 

If you don’t have liquid aminos or nutritional yeast, don’t fret. A lot of grocery stores carry them. If not, though, both liquid aminos and nutritional yeast are available on Amazon. (And they’re both prime!)  Buy ’em there and money goes to supporting this blog and ensuring you don’t wander for too long in the grocery store!

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